My fridge is empty

05 Mai 2019

My phone rings while I am skiing. My friend asks what we are doing on Saturday night. Without thinking I tell her, « We’ll be back from holiday at half past six, we’ve nothing planned and as our fridge is empty, we’d love to have supper at yours! »

My husband says: “You’ve got a cheek.”

I later found out that my friend had called to invite us and she’d thought it was lovely that I’d shared my hopes with her without any false modesty.

A week later, she called me again and asked the same question. As I already had something else on, I said I was sorry. Then she told me she’d really love a gin and tonic made the way only my husband knows how.

I invited her for drinks and we went to our dinner afterwards.

When we sincerely express what we would like, there is a good chance the other person would like to give it to us to bring us pleasure.

What about you? What would you really like to ask for?




  1. Your comments on life often resonate with me. They don’t disappear into a « black hole » but are regularly read and appreciated. Last week’s on inviting yourself to someone’s house for dinner struck me as unusual. In British culture it just isn’t done. I understand that it is not unusual in Spanish culture, if paella or « soggy rice » is being made that stretches easily and people will invite themselves over when they here that it is being prepared, but we Brits don’t hold with such behaviour.
    Or so I thought.
    Having read this on Sunday, I was unexpectedly invited to our Vicar’s house by our Youth Leader for borrel on Tuesday evening (if you don’t know about borrel, check it out in Dutch culture). This made no sense as the borrel was a thank you to the helpers who support the Youth Leader, and I’m not one of them. However, the Youth Leader was insistent that I should go as I am a parent. My wife was away (and she is a helper), so I went along not sure if I was representing my wife of there as a parent. The Vicar was obviously surprised to see me, and I was the only non-helper there.
    During a discussion the Vicar reminded the Youth Leader that he wanted her to get to know families by inviting herself over to dinner. This poor young lady (just 24) looked horrified and was clearly uncomfortable. She said she had tried but found it really difficult. We have an open house approach, people call in all the time and if it is meal time we always invite people to stay, and we have got to know this young Youth Leader quite well, so I told her that she could practice on us and invite herself to dinner whenever she wanted. The next day I remembered your bubble about the fridge being empty and forwarded it to her, along with an explanation about the Spanish approach (her first name is Spanish even though she is half English/half German).
    We saw the Youth Leader on Sunday, she invited herself over for coffee, then we kept her for lunch. She was really happy to have seen your bubble and it has inspired her to invite herself for dinner. She has shared it with a friend and it seems there might be a new movement starting in Leiden, of people being bold and inviting themselves for dinner.
    Thank you for sharing your story.
    Yours hungrily,

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